The leaders of the UK’s most powerful political parties have held a joint press conference today to declare a truce.
”Hopefully it will lead to a formal and permanent cessation of hostilities,” Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, dressed appropriately in white, stated, “so we can focus on our real enemies, the ones within our own parties. Impurities must be flushed from the viral essence.”
Ms May, dressed disarmingly in a denim jumpsuit and a power chain, was similarly hopeful.
”This truce, declared today between myself and Jeremy, builds on the back channel talks that have been held in secret for a long time, in order to deliver Brexit for the British people and autocracy for all, whichever old party is in government, Brexit means Brexit.”
(pause for a meaningful stare to camera)
”While we have still been officially at war, the Labour and Conservative MPs who worked openly in 2011, but failed to deliver an IN/OUT EUref then, can come out of the corridors now and advance hand in hand to victory against jobs and the single market and all those bloody foreigners on March 29th.”
The leaders went on to confirm that recent defections from their respective parties by traitors would not dampen their enthusiasm to build a lasting understanding built on the wilful demolition of auto manufacturers in the U.K. by both a major union and disaster capitalists.
”Our focus at the next GE will be on unseating our own MPs. And that is something else we can both agree on as a greater priority than food and medicines.”