LCD Views has great news for people who want to work hard once and then retire with the announcement that due to a quirk in the law an alleged bank robber is to be allowed to keep the cash allegedly gained from an alleged bank robbery.
“It was only advisory,” Law Pants, QC, acting for the alleged robber told us, “so it’s not really a crime. My client stating on record, when allegedly planning the alleged heist of the British Democratic Bank, that the robbery would only be advisory and any resulting gain in monetary terms would be taken under consideration, but there was no actual mandated decision to keep or return the loot, so he can’t be held accountable,
“and funnily enough, get this! It’s a hoot!
“Due to a quirk in the law he gets to keep the result of the advisory raid on the Westminster branch of the British Democratic Bank because it can’t be ruled a robbery because it was only a theoretical exercise in smashing a western democracy, I mean bank vault! And too much time has passed anyway, because an alleged robbery has to be acted on legally within twenty four hours or you can’t touch the alleged robber. It’s quite a gordian knot! Someone really should just cut it!”
The news will make it easier for people planning further alleged heists of the British Democratic Bank and is encouraging for anyone worrying how they’ll feed their kids after inheriting millions and finding themselves feeling undeservedly god like, but kinda bored.
“It should help bring a feudal political system back to the United Kingdom,” Law Pants mused, “but I can’t personally see how it’s related to the advisory EU referendum held in 2016 and proven to be riddled with criminality and foreign influence at all.”