LCD Views can report today on a mystery solved after a woman accidentally binned by rubbish collectors was identified as the British prime minister Theresa May.
It’s understood the mishap occurred during a photo opportunity coordinated with that gutter rag The Daily Mail, which has been littering the body politic of the UK for decades.
“It was bound to happen,” our refuse correspondent shrugs, “she’s rubbish. The Daily Mail is complete garbage. Cross the two streams and it’s a tsunami of filth. She’s just lucky they hauled her out of the bin before the truck emptied it into the compactor!”
To learn more we spoke to one of the people involved in the incident.
“Look, they ran me up this morning and said they were going to deport me unless I got down to central London to have my photo taken,” Joan O’Arc told us, still in her hi viz vest,
“I didn’t want to wear the vest either. I’m worried people will mistake me for a rent a fascist. And I certainly didn’t want to be photographed with that rubbish prime minister. They can’t deport me anyway, I was born here! But I’m sure they’d try, so I did as I was told. That’s why it happened.”
It’s believed it was not only the fact that Theresa May is a rubbish prime minister that led to the confusion, but the smell surrounding her.
“I’m sure she put on some serious perfume for the event, but the stench of corruption surrounding her is like a dead fish that’s been in the sun for several days. We had to close our eyes and hold our breath when we got close. It’s no surprise we mistook her for refuse.”
The binned PM is said to be recovering back at 10 Downing Street, but no matter how she tries, she can’t seem to scrub the smell of what she’s been up to away.