Comrade Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition (in name only) has had another whiff of power. He has decided that the best way to experience the thrill of unshackled success is to copy his mentor, and run through a field of wheat.
This is not the first whiff of power Corbyn has had. When jostling for the middle class vote, he ran through a field of quinoa.
Corbyn’s biggest whiff of the afore-mentioned addictive substance came when he appeared at Glastonbury. In this occasion he ran, naked from the waist down, through a field of wigwams. The allegations are that he had a headache that day, and misguidedly purchased a couple of ‘aspirin’ from a pie-eyed hippy in a ramshackle yurt.
Each of these stunts has elevated his national leadership approval ratings. He is currently in third place in the polls, behind Theresa May and Don’t Know.
Momentum member Brian Washing tried to explain his position. “Momentum means Momentum,” he clarified. “Which means we just keep going on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and…”
More pertinently, Corbyn superfan Sikka Fantic defended his master’s choice. “Jeremy is a free spirit,” he waffled. “Why do you think he spends so much time gardening? You can excuse him for mistaking the opposition front bench for a nice comfy sofa for snoozing on. Jeremy has been dreaming of a wheatfield run since childhood!”
“…on, and on, and on, and on, and…” continued Washing.
The man himself was delighted with his rural odyssey. “I discovered that if you run around in circles, the press come and take hundreds of photographs!” said Corbyn happily. “Lots of good publicity and talk of alien landings. Hopefully the aliens will be Labour voters!”
Nobody is quite sure whether aliens would be eligible to vote in an election, or even a referendum. Meanwhile, the search for an old man’s marbles continues.