Number 10 announced that the Prime Minister (there but for the grace of God…) was unilaterally retracting Article 50. In its place, May was confidently demanding that the EU recognise her Article 50+++.
Downing Street spokesman Rhett O’Rick was on hand to demystify the latest Brexit nonsense.
“It’s really simple,” stated O’Rick. “Article 50 has not given us what we wanted, so we have gone back to the EU to demand an upgraded Article 50. To avoid any confusion, we have called this new Article 50 Article 50+++.”
The original Article 50 was clear to the point of brutality. What makes this Article 50+++ better?
“All the plus signs, of course,” joked O’Rick. “But seriously, there is a little more wriggle room in the new Article. It now reads, ‘The EU treaties shall cease to apply to the State in question at an unspecified time after the notification.’ I think that’s something we can all get behind.”
This is just a load more fudge, isn’t it? It is surely just another way to kick the can down the road.
“Certainly not,” declared O’Rick. “It means that now the country can Brexit at a suitable time decided by Parliament. It’s taking back control.”
And will the EU accept it? After all, their latest position was ‘No more negotiations’.
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” said Rhett, turning scarlet. “They need us more than we need them. Take it or leave it. The ball’s in their court.”
But, but… If the original Article 50 has been retracted by May, that means the PM has acted impulsively and unilaterally, and without forethought, again. And it means that we remain in the EU.
“Look, you clearly don’t understand these difficult and complicated matters,” said a flustered O’Rick. “So why don’t you run along and remoan at someone else?”
Fair point.
Meanwhile Theresa May has nor been seen in public recently because she has had extensive dental work. Too much fudge rots the teeth.