The world’s richest man (for now), Amazon boss Jeff Bezos, has admitted to discovering his divorce papers after a long search. They had been delivered, while he was out, and hidden cunningly in a neighbour’s shed.
Jeff being super rich and that, his nearest neighbour is some distance away, and behind the security of a garden wall that would make Donald Trump tumescent with envy. Matters were complicated by the fact that this particular neighbour had been on holiday. On his return, the neighbour ignored the outsized box in his shed, assuming instead that his wife had been buying vibrators again.
It wasn’t until Jeff came to call that he made the connection. The neighbour, Bill Damann-Cave, takes up the story.
“I sort of knew Jeff was my neighbour,” Bill admitted. “However, since he lives in several hundred acres of secluded parkland behind a mahoosive wall, I rarely saw him. He’s not really the type to chat about how your courgettes are doing over the garden fence.”
The man himself came knocking one day, looking anxious. “He just said, I’m Jeff Bezos, yes, the Amazon guy, has a large package been delivered here?” Bill recalled. “I just said, yes, but my wife is forever ordering large packages. Could you check for me, he asked, so I did, and it was indeed for him.”
According to Bill, Jeff opened it on the spot. “Yeah, he took a long time wading through the masses of packaging,” said Bill. “Eventually he pulled out this slim sheaf of papers, and looked sort of relieved, but very glum at the same time.”
Jeff admitted to Bill that he was getting a divorce. “His wife had been nagging him to do the paperwork apparently,” said Bill. “He was relieved to locate it at last. People who bought this also bought motorbikes and Viagra, I joked. Don’t think he thought it was funny.”
Bill did reveal why Jeff was so glum, though. Not because of losing his wife, but because the divorce bill was going to be so large that he would no longer be the world’s richest man.