PMQ’s was noisier than usual today as prime minister of Great Britain and a part of Ireland (if she carries on) Theresa May responded to a sympathetic question from a backbench Tory MP to kick off the weekly party, showcasing British democracy to the world.
”Can the prime minister confirm for my constituents in La-La that the successful amendment to the finance bill last night, the so called Cooper Traitor’s Bill, will not in any way hinder the ongoing construction of her wall against reality?”
To which the Prime Minister of Great Britain, and some of Ireland, replied:
”I thank the honourable member for La-La, Mr Bridgen, for his question. Firstly though may I commend him on his wearing today of an edible Union Jack waistcoat.”
(Pause as the Tory backbenchers cheer. Intervention by the speaker to call for order as several Tory MPs hurl straightened bananas over at the opposition benches, resulting in John McDonnell waking up, saying what? several times, before he retorted by firing a small red book out of a small red cannon. The book taking so long in flight, that the PM gave up waiting and continued.)
”It is with great pleasure I can confirm to the honourable member that my wall against reality is already completed, and has in fact been entirely constructed by sensible use of taxpayer funds many months prior to last night’s vote.”
(More banana throwing. A pineapple is launched. Tory and Labour Brexiters leave their benches to meet and exchange chunks of gammon. Order resumes. Well, what was passing for it.)
”And may I take just another moment to state that in the coming months I will be adding an additional three walls to form a box and then commissioning a lid so that my wall to keep out reality will become a fully functioning sensory deprivation chamber.”
(Orgasms of delight. PMQs pauses for cleaning off the spittle and flung shite.)
Jeremy Corbyn next rose to question the prime minister:
”Can the honourable lady confirm that she will be looking favourably upon my own motion to build ‘a’ wall against reality and stop wasting time on ‘the’ wall against reality…”
And the war against reality carried on.