Cabinet minister Chris Grayling is under fire today after being caught red handed renting out the empty space inside his head.
When questioned by reporters over the additional income, which has so far not being declared to parliament as required by the rules, a spokesmen for the transport supremo defended the actions of his boss:
“Chris isn’t using the space, why shouldn’t he make a little extra income to beef up his frankly paltry pay as a minster of state,” Mr Bullet Magnet told LCD Views, “he’s actually helping alleviate the housing crisis in London, which is severe, especially in Westminster, where the space is being rented from.”
But this defence failed to satisfy after it was revealed the tenants in the MP’s head were not residential but commercial.
“So? I wasn’t aware when I addressed the matter earlier, but given the bargain price Mr Grayling is asking, I think it only right and proper that we applaud him for supporting a start up British business.”
But even that didn’t wash after it was revealed the start up itself was using taxpayer money to pay for the long lease inside the Transport Secretary’s head.
“Well if he had just paid himself directly you’d say he was corrupt!” Mr Magnet scoffed, “it’s getting so an MP can’t do anything normal without receiving a public handbagging.”
The discovery of the space inside Mr Grayling’s head being put up for rent has increased pressure on the prime minister to sack him, after a string of low profile screw ups that make Mr Magoo appear to be eagle eyed in comparison.
“No chance,” Mr Magnet replied, “The prime minister has a perfectly sensible policy of surrounding herself with complete and utter imbeciles in order to make herself look good.”
But given they refuse to turf her out of her job, until she has completed the task of Brexit and thus willingly becoming one of the biggest fall guys ever in British history, you have to wonder who is actually smarter.
“Not so silly after all, hey,” Mr Magnet winked, before rushing off to organise the shipping news for broadcast to a firm specialising in takeaway food deliveries.