“Yes! We have no bananas!” has got to the top of the charts. The BBC, true to form, has refused to play it, citing political influence.
The nonsense song has come into vogue periodically. Principally when bananas were rationed after world war 2.
We turned to pop music expert Melody Lynes for an explanation.
“Novelty songs are always popular,” she stated. “However, they sell better when outside events influence buyers. It’s like when Mrs Thatcher died, sales of “Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead” went through the roof.”
The BBC banned that, too.
“I can’t speak for our broadcasters,” said Lynes. “But the public mood was certainty encapsulated in that song, whatever your opinion about Thatcher.”
Clearly the news that, in the event of a no deal Brexit, bananas will become scarce, had prompted sales.
‘Brexpert’ Terry Bulplan had his defence ready. “I can’t understand why anyone would want to listen to that tiresome drivel,” he said. “The title is nonsense, and nobody is suggesting that there will be a shortage of bananas!”
Unfortunately, that is exactly what Brexiters are suggesting. The blockades at our ports and the absence of trade deals will prevent bananas from getting to the UK.
“And a jolly good job too,” grumbles Bulplan. “Too many foreign fruits coming into the country, taking up space in the fruit bowl that could be filled with British fruits, like elderberries and crab apples!”
So, you are saying that Britain is a fruit basket case? A bendy banana republic?
“Nothing of the sort!” retorted Bulplan. “In any case, we need to be singing from the same hymn sheet. And yes, we have no bananas!”
And that’s Brexit in a nutshell. Or a banana skin. A cheerful affirmation that everything will be the same, whilst acknowledging that everything will be dreadful, in one simple sentence.
The country has gone bananas.