Voting rights are to be confined to ‘worthy’ people only after Brexit. The news leaked out while the country was busy looking the other way. Income really is the only official measure of one’s worthiness these days.
Home Office spokestit Rich Vota-Zonlie took a few moments out of his busy schedule of getting drunk to explain.
“The government is anxious to ensure that voter fraud is eliminated,” he warbled. “Or at least, controlled by the right people. Voting is a highly skilled matter. Therefore, since skill and a decent pay cheque are the same thing, the franchise will be earned by attaining a minimum income of £30,000.”
But how can this be permitted? The right of an adult to vote has been enshrined in law for a century now. There will be uproar.
“Yes, but it won’t count because they will be ineligible to vote,” explained Vota-Zonlie. “We can chuck them a bit of bread and order the army to disperse them.”
Will skilled workers coming into the country new allowed to vote?
“Of course,” he replied. “Success brings rights and privileges, that’s the very definition of success. Why work hard, only to discover that the idle spongers are your equals? It’s a disincentive to succeed.”
This is a kick in the teeth for poor people who voted for Brexit.
“The People have spoken, and, with a bit of imagination, said exactly what we wanted them to say,” said Vota-Zonlie. “It is their responsibility to bear. The well-off will be rewarded for choosing Brexit, and the plebs will have their selfless decision to cede what little power they had to the ruling class immortalised as the Final Vote.”
Money is already being diverted from the Universal Credit budget to pay for a statue of The Honest Brexit Serf. This will be installed permanently on the vacant plinth in Trafalgar Square.
Jeremy Corbyn is already condemning the move, instead suggesting that there should be “a” franchise restriction.