Online pornography platform Pornhub has abandoned controversial plans to host a naked mud wrestling contest between prime Minister Theresa May and Labour party leader Jeremy Corbyn.
Speaking to LCD Views, company spokesman John “King Dong” Johnson confirmed that having researched “Brexit” and discovered that the letter X wasn’t substituting for anything naughty, the company had decided to abandon the idea.
“We had thought that a couple of grey wrinklies going at it like rabbits in custard would sell well, but neither is prepared to wear bodycams and crotch-mics which would dramatically reduce market appeal,” he explained.
The Canadian smut site had stepped in after both the BBC and ITV had given up on plans to broadcast a serious political debate because the two leaders refused to agree on a format.
The debate was subsequently pitched to Channel Five and Dave but both rejected the offer on the grounds that none of their viewers would have any idea who either of the participants were.
“Neither of them has been in Red Dwarf or on Top Gear, so it was a complete non starter,” explained Dave CEO, David Davies.
A spokesman for Labour’s national committee denied that it had been consulted over the Pornhub offer.
“Not that it matters, Jeremy’s already dragged the party name through the mud,” he shrugged.
A spokesman for Theresa May’s office confirmed that the Prime Minister was still available for a live TV debate providing the right format could be found.
“She’s up for anything that doesn’t involve Boris Johnson or removing her thermals, and as long as the result is purely advisory and non binding, like the Brexit referendum,” he explained.
“Not that she’ll give a toss anyway,” he conceded.