Robot Strictly winner Maybot2.0© has developed a new dance. She is in the process of perfecting the permanent limbo.
This dance has been described to LCD Views by ‘dancepert’ Corrie O’Graphy. “Traditional limbo involves being able to pass under a bar,” O’Graphy explained. “It requires a high degree of flexibility. Permanent limbo is the same, except that it uses an invisible, indeed non-existent bar.”
Political commentator Ben Dover-Backwoods went further. “May is bending over backwards all the time,” he clarified. “She has a lot to live down to. The bar has been set, it is a very low bar indeed, and it is getting lower all the time.”
Indeed, the bar has now been lowered so far that it is difficult to perform even the permanent limbo. Nonetheless, May is attempting this feat of backbreaking impossibility. If she goes forward or backwards, the precariously balanced bar will topple. Trapped in this eternal nether world, she is quite literally in limbo.
“This is the static permanent limbo,” said O’Graphy. “You move neither forwards or backwards, but remain in the same position indefinitely. It’s an endurance act really, but it can leave a dancer bitter and twisted.”
“The realities of Brexit are closing in,” commented Dover-Backwoods. “May is being squeezed between the EU rock and the ERG hard place. She is caught in her own trap, hoping that she doesn’t break before the final whistle blows.”
With the EU pulling May one way, and the ERG dragging her the other, while the DUP snipes from the sidelines, the UK PM must be heartily sick of all the acronyms.
Instead, the country is left with a conundrum. Like all riddles, the answer is obvious, and simple once you see it. And the question is this:
When is a backstop not a backstop? When it’s an Irish backstop.