Potatoes, turnips, cabbages and other great British vegetables were in a celebratory mood today with the reassuring announcement that Nigel Farage’s EU pension will be paid from the BBC license fee.
”Only if no deal is reached between the completely trustworthy U.K. government and the rule stifled EU tyranny in Brussels,” a very unbiased Nigel Farage MEP told the collection of Russian algorithms and British born idiots who listen to his LBC show ‘Lord Haw-Haw’s half hour’.
”I’m personally happy to pay extra on top of the reasonable levy to fund the Conservative Party press release machine,” A (patriotic) Potato told LCD Views, “£350M a week if need be? I’ll phone Nigel up personally and tell him.”
Root vegetables such as carrots and turnips also said they are happy to weigh in with clods of cash.
”Since the evil empire across the channel docked Nigel’s salary for all that fraud, which he totally didn’t commit, I’ve been worrying how he’ll afford another ticket to ride in Trump’s magic ‘gold of the people’ lift. I’m happy if my entire BBC license fee is diverted straight into Nigel’s account in Panama.”
When asked for comment the Director General of the BBC, also a Lord Haw-Haw, gave confirmation of the Beeb’s willingness to divert its funding to Britain’s greatest patriot since Profumo.
”We already buy him a mansion a year for providing most of our political output,” Lord Haw-Haw confirmed, “what’s another eighty odd grand a year, indexed to rise with inflation on top of it?”
Indeed.
And in so doing so the state broadcaster can finally put to rest all those allegations of being biased to left wing politics. Everyone will be pleased. Keep Nigel warm this winter just by being forced by law to pay for the totally unbiased BBC.