British Foreign Secretary Jeremy ‘sounds like’ Hunt has put the emerging scandal surrounding uninvestigated criminality in the Leave campaigns to bed today by asserting “not investigating crime because of political sensitivities is a way of expressing our shared values with our good friends in Saudi Arabia”.
And that’s not all.
”But we can do better,” Hunt went on, mad eyes swivelling, “after we leave the tyrannical grip of Brussels and all those meddling regulations surrounding human rights, we can switch to a net importer of high explosives and begin bombing rural Wales.”
The call to unleash the dogs of war locally, rather than more profitably far overseas where as long as it’s not white Europeans dying than we are promoting traditional British values, has raised a few eyebrows.
”What’s the foreign secretary got against an aerial campaign against Scotland?” Tom Tug-my-hat, Tory MP Kent, demanded, “And why wasn’t I consulted before the decision to bomb Wales was made? I might have decided Norfolk should get it.”
As part of the shoring up of our shared values though, Hunt has more surprises for his colleagues.
”Clearly we should stop women driving, except with a stipulated male relative,” Hunt carried on, “at least until we can work out the nationality of my wife. We should also begin imprisoning dissidents.”
Asked for a response to the foreign secretary’s comments Downing Street issued the following statement,
”While Ms May certainly entertains constant thoughts about military occupation and suppression of the non Little England regions in her realm, mass arms sales to tyrannies is a key plank of our foreign aid. We expect to export even more death by way of desperately seeking cash after we bankrupt the U.K. with Brexit. To begin importing arms would run contrary to this ethical choice.”
They added also,
”We trust our good friends in Saudi Arabia will be more discrete with their state sanctioned murders going forward so we need not worry about pretending to care and potentially losing a key customer for our military-industrial complex to Russia.”