George Soros is facing bankruptcy as a class action for unpaid wages by remainers and Trump opponents begins in Budapest.
”He’s stuffed,” our legal eagle, Mr Bald, says, “you think of the millions of people he’s employed on social media to fight Brexit and resist the authoritarian presidency of Donald Trump? Then the people he pays in Hungary to argue against Orban? And all his other employees resisting the far right around the globe? That’s an unpaid wage bill even Trump would be proud of.”
The legal case, which is expected to last about five minutes and be held in the offices of the Budapest office of the Telegraph, is certain to find against the aged philanthropist and investor.
”It’ll be a kangaroo court with a definite international flavour,” Mr Bald continues, “the judge is an Express editor.”
Why the action is taking place in the newspaper office of a city under the control of an increasingly autocratic and dubious government is not quite clear though. What’s wrong with the Old Bailey?
”It’s only necessary to convict him in the court of public opinion,” Mr Bald explains, “this is a fundamental change to the rule of law ushered in by Brexit. It’s going to save everyone masses on legal costs.”
And will our own international enterprise benefit from a backdated windfall, after all, we focus on Brexit a lot.
”No. We’re paid up Tory shills, as some of the more feverish supporters of Corbyn like to explain to us, after exhaustive examination of our time line.”
So we need to sue the Conservative Party then?
”I’ll get right on it. With their access to the magic money tree a settlement in our favour is guaranteed.”
If you’ve yet to receive your payment, after arguing against either Brexit or Trump, we recommend you get onto the legal team representing the Soros social media conspiracy and ask for whatever you think you’re owed.