The architects of Brexit were the global mega-rich. Its seeds have been coddled in Fleet Street for many years. Its midwife was Nigel Farage. But now its birthplace has been revealed. Brexit emerged, crying and spluttering, into the world in the back room of ‘the club with the twist’, the Möbius Strip Club.
The club’s former owner, Constant D. Klein, resigned instead of throttling the infant at birth, as should have been done. In the pithy words of club regular Manny Fold, Klein “bottled it”.
Möbius strippers are a unique breed. Since they are the same on the inside and the outside, there is no need to remove any clothing. In any case, they are identical up to isomorphism. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
Möbius regulars are used to only seeing one side of an argument, and will swear that the inside of the club is the same as the outside. However, the real mischief went on in the exclusive “4D Lounge”. In that rarefied and esoteric environment, squaring the circle was not only desirable, it was compulsory.
Here, the possible and the impossible do not simply coexist, they are the same thing. Under the influence of strong homeomorphisms, Brexiters discovered that knotty problems like the Irish border exist and don’t exist simultaneously.
The contradictions became plainly projected, claims Fold. “We realised that objects could, apparently, pass through themselves” he said. “It was the answer to everything. Brexit could function continuously and compactly.”
The shadowy figure who provided the powerful transformations, known as “The Doctor in the Hausdorff”, was too busy transforming from a mug to a doughnut and back to talk to us. Homeomorphisms are dangerous in the wrong hands. Just say no, people.
This type of proposition requires rigorous proof. However, the Möbius Strip Group refuses to offer any justification. Instead, the proof is left as an exercise for the reader.