Dominic Raab, Secretary of State for making David Davis look clever, faced heated questions this evening after his actions literally led to a sudden and dramatic worsening of the trade deficit with Germany.
”He wrote to Starmer to try and get Labour’s answers to an upcoming school quiz on Brexit and the People’s Vote,” Raab handler, Mr Baboon Handler, told LCD Views,
“You know, whether or not to destroy the U.K. and hand the bloody parts over to US neocons so Liam Fox looks good, or like, give the people a chance to just, well, not,
“And he was hoping for guidance from Mr Constructive Ambuguity? It’s nuts. Dominic’s job is almost impossible for Dominic as it is [not for most though]. I only took my eye off him for a moment. I feel so bad. I should never have left him alone with a junior civil servant and access to a printer and official paper. I didn’t follow procedure and I’m very sorry.”
But left alone Dominic was and he immediately underscored why there are strict instructions for his handling at all times.
The drafting and sending of the letter from the Secretary of State, pretty much begging Labour to tell their mortal enemies what they intend to do at the Labour conference this weekend, regarding calls for a People’s Vote on the no deal Brexit May is to achieve, just made the government look even sillier and more certain of falling any day now than usual.
”As soon as Keir put the letter on twitter importers of German made goods said sod the fancy cars and mass ordered schadenfreude. Still, it’s a good thing they did it now. After Brexit all those sniggers, grins and ha ha’s at our failure with Brexit negotiations will just rot at Dover waiting to clear customs.”
Mr Starmer is understood not to have replied officially and just made hay with the letter, as is sensible.
”What did little Dominic even expect? I doubt Starmer knows the answer himself. Not ever having a Brexit position is exactly Labour’s strategy.”
It’s understood rules for handling Raab are to be reviewed with the advice he is only now allowed access to edible paper.