The Road to Brexit, the white elephant in the room – or countryside – has reached another embarrassing halt. Far from thundering magnificently towards the cliff-edge and freedom, it has meandered to a halt in the middle of no-man’s land. The government has been obliged to organise a diversion.
Therefore the comedy duo of Fox and Grayling have been wheeled out. For those new to the genre, Grayling is the hapless incompetent whose schtick is slapstick, whereas Fox is the gag merchant, and no amount of knock-backs can convince him that he is not the fox’s bollocks.
The routine is always the same: Fox comes up with a grand plan. Grayling opens his mouth, puts his foot in it and falls over. The plan fails, and Fox congratulates himself. Rinse, repeat, run end credits.
This time there’s only a slight twist. Grayling runs, hilariously, into a red line of cones on the Road, and falls over. Fox’s grand plan is to use the Road as a runway for a Spitfire instead. “It’ll never get off the ground!” quips Grayling. “No, it’s a flier!” replies Fox. “Come on Chris, give us a push!” Whereupon the pair burst into an improbable song about an aeroplane with only one wing:
“We’ve only got one wing!” “But one is better than none!”
“So long as we can sing…” “…We will fly up to the sun!”
While all this song and dance was going on, anxious Road users wait for direction. Temporary yellow signs point them off in a random direction. They are directed to a cul-de-sac on the projected line of the Road, scheduled for demolition.
Suddenly, an aeroplane appears over the horizon. Its flight is weak, the engine droning feebly and the single wing flapping. It heads straight for the cul-de-sac, and BOOM!! There is an almighty crash. Fox and Grayling emerge, unscathed. Grayling immediately plunges head first into the wreckage, and Fox dusts himself down proudly.
Fox turns to look directly into the camera. “See what you can achieve on a wing and a prayer!” he says, winking.