Alicia Silverstone has stepped into the halls of Global Britain greatness today after she did her patriotic duty and made way for Theresa May to star in the remake of 90’s cult classic ‘Clueless’, now focused on telling the contemporary story of Global Britain.
”The reboot is really a role for a method actor,” Alicia told a Downing Street news conference this afternoon, “although I could have had a swing at it in the Stanislavsky tradition, Theresa has been doing the research day in and day out. Really living the title. Hell, her and her team have pretty much written the script by inprov every day for over two years. Maybe even since 2010 if you ask some of the production team.”
And it’s not just the title of the classic that the remake will embody.
Insiders tell your go to rag for inside gossip on modern cinema that there are other striking similarities.
”Shoes and trousers. Lots of shoes. Lots of expensive trousers. Neck jewellery you could beat a rhino to death with. Nothing says power dressing like getting a neck injury dressing for work. Although between you and me, there could be love bites under those links. Hedge funds focused on short selling and profiting off people’s misery can’t get enough of our star.”
Filming is expected to wrap up by the end of the conference season this year, but we’ve heard tell the end scenes are not yet written and will definitely also be made up on the day.
”It depends on one of her co-stars, Boris. He’s been cast as a classic bully type character. He’ll only pick on people he perceives as so weak they can’t fight back. It depends on how he calculates his chances.”
Based on that, chances are, we’ll all be watching the day to day madcap activities of a clueless prime minister wearing shoes so valuable your family would be barred free school meals for years right up to New Year. Back to you John.