Social media is buzzing today with talk of a new wonder drug which instantly cures feelings of sympathy for Prime Minister Theresa May.
”When we saw people writing on social media platforms that they felt sorry for the prime architect of the Hostile Environment policies, well, we knew we had to work fast to develop a cure,” Doctor Furacists, of F U Racists and Gamble, a leading medical research company based in Maidenhead, told us earlier today.
The cure comes in various forms, first and foremost empathy and humanity, but also an easy to take pill form.
”The pill is called ‘Hostile Environment’ after the now famous policy spectrum designed and pushed through by the head of the Home Office during 2010 – 2016. This occurred while Prime Minister David Cameron was too blithe, intellectually stupid, possibly compromised by various sources of funding, and lazy to pay attention to what his legacy was growing into.”
The Doctor advises anyone who is starting to exhibit symptoms of sympathy for Theresa May, purely because she achieved her aim of becoming boss to a vicious bag of snakes, to begin a course of Hostile Environlemt immediately.
”Most people will only need one dose to release that they should have zero sympathy for a xenophobic Little Englander who made it her mission while Home Office minister to do as much as possible to destroy the security and well-being of a vast number of people, purely based on skin colour it seems, but also a distaste for certain socio-demographics and a desire to punish them, as you’d expect from a vicar’s daughter.”
But what about people who have a severe case, say members of ToryKip and UKIP?
”Oh, they’re going to need to overdose, and even then I’m not sure it’ll work.”