Town halls across the U.K. are faced with an escalating cash crisis completely down to the necessity of constantly re-issuing each Brexit supporting voter’s birth certificate on a daily basis.
”It’s a good thing support for this far right takeover of our country is slowly and steadily waning, well, everywhere but Labour HQ,” register of births, deaths and marriages at Buck-on-Trend told LCD Views, “we’ve already pushed bin collections back to biannual events to save money and we’re in danger of cancelling them altogether.”
It seems the reason for the never ending re-issuing, and corresponding exhaustion of resources, already strained worse than the famous words “strong and stable”, is the requirement to daily update individual Brexit voter’s date of birthday to yesterday.
”They were all born yesterday,” the register shrugged, “even the over 65’s. Every morning when they wake up still believing in the best Brexit deal possible and take back control and jobs first Brexit, and all the other bollocks Brexit politicians say to further their own ideological aims, the Brexit backing voter is reborn anew. Clearly still knowing about as much as a newborn.”
It is hoped the gradual filtering through to the general public at large of the nightmare ahead will swing enough voters against Brexit in the coming weeks and alleviate the budget strain.
”If it doesn’t happen we’re going to have to stop registering births altogether. But that would have the side benefit of easing housing shortages at least.”
Anyone seeking further confirmation of the date of birth of a Brexit voter is asked to just wait patiently and see how quickly they soil themselves when the housing market adjusts itself to the exciting possibilities presented by Brexit in 2019.