In a dramatic setback for British deep political thought, the ERG have announced they have delayed publishing their rival Brexit plan after ‘Step 1 – Invade Poland’ was leaked, but with a glaring typo saying ‘Invade Argentina’.
”We had intended to publish on the 1st September,” Mrs Batshit Crazy MP told LCD Views, “but then some traitor sabotaged us by leaking page one of the plan with the typo. We still intend to Invade Argentina, but that’s not page one of the plan, it’s page two.”
The plan overall though seems pretty much to just replay WW2, but with some role reversal and modifications relating to new tech, and was supposed to be a rival to May’s now widely disregarded Chequer’s Plan.
In this plan the British challenge the EU to a game of chess and then stun Barnier and co by immediately putting themselves in checkmate.
”We all know Ms May’s plan will never fly,” Batshit went on, “unlike our special squadrons of genetically engineered flying monkeys which will rain fear and terror across the tyrannical superstate of the EU until Empress Merkel comes to Whitehall in chains and kneels in submission before Dictator (for life) Jacob.”
Key parts of the plan are known though, along with the invasion of Poland, and they are the eradication of taxation completely and the drawing of blood from poor people. This will be sold on the international black market and the profits used to pay for the new ruling elite and their lifestyles, so they don’t have to.
”Personally I think we should push on regardless,” Batshit added, “once we have control of the air, like Bannon has advised us to do, only America can stop us. And we all know which side Trump is on (wink, wink).”
At least withholding the plan from greater public scrutiny has the advantage of no one at all thinking the ERG are completely off their rockers and devoid of the ability to plan coherently.
This allows them to retain their credibility and continue to drive the U.K. to a position of total dominance of the world’s tax havens, by way of terrifying May into submission until Boris Johnson takes over. Oops. That’s page three.