“There will be no second referendum as it will be a gross betrayal of the people who bought our democracy,” Prime Minister Theresa May writes in the papers this Sunday, putting to bed once and for all any thoughts of allowing the rabble to vote against food rationing.
“I am strong and stable,” she adds, as if anyone was in any doubt, “so long as I can stay away from hill walking for the next few weeks there will be no vote allowed on medicine stockpiling, particularly not by diabetics.”
The reassurances were timely, as certain unpotatriotic elements within the U.K. have been suggesting that perhaps the people should be allowed to reconsider, now the ramifications of the corrupted opinion poll held one day in 2016 are better known.
”The people voted to create the conditions to restart the troubles in Northern Ireland,” Ms May added, “fully aware that a militarised border may have to be put back in place. This is not a problem. My boss Jacob Rees-mogg has already blithely stated the solution to that is simply inspecting the subject peoples of Ireland to body cavity searches at the border. What could be simpler?”
The words of the last prime minister the United Kingdom will ever have will go far this morning to disabuse anyone believing a country can change course.
”Just think of the millions pumped into Arron Banks’ bank account on the Isle of Mann before the EU ref campaigns. The dodgy diamond mines. The mass targeting of individual voters on social media with racist attitudes in the days prior to the vote? Are all these expenses to have been for nothing? Would you betray the kleptonationalist forces who have bought our country, in order to asset strip it and destabilise the western democratic model?”
Ms May went on to add that she didn’t bung the DUP over a billion squid not to get our money’s worth out of the deal for her own vainglorious satisfaction of clinging onto power.
So that settles that.
Asked how they respond to the end of democracy and the signing of the economic and civil death warrant of the U.K. by a hard right coup, Labour’s Brexit spokesman Keir Starmer replied,
“that will depend on what we decide is in the best short term electoral interest of the Labour Party in particular constituencies. We’re no longer in the business of upsetting racists and hard right neocons just to defend principles. We’re sure we can work with HMG.”