A prominent think tank representative has used a time travel device to tell dinosaurs concerned about the mass extinction of their livelihoods thanks to an incoming giant comet to relax.
”You need to focus on the upsides,” Theresa May told a Tyrannosaurus Rex, while visiting Gondwanaland to promote trade between her finanical backers and the soon to be wiped out carnivores.
”As I understand it, in spite of many of your current species still at the forefront of evolutionary success, the primeval Earth overwhelmingly voted for a mass extinction event by virtue of its trajectory in the solar system coinciding with a great big comet smashing into the Gulf of Mexico. With vim, vigour and sheer bloody luck some of you will survive this event and millions of years from now have evolved into something important again.”
Ms May, will known for her work on the modern planet for furthering the interests of shadowy think tanks with aims not always too transparent, while listening to their press releases in the form of BBC news bulletins, had more than just reassurance on offer during her visit.
She was also carrying a suitcase full of munitions for any dinosaur that wished to better arm itself for peacekeeping purposes in the minor calamity that might follow the comet crashing into the planet.
”Just like Brexit, this comet’s impact is completely unavoidable, unless you’ve had the forethought to move significant assets offshore and position yourself to profit off the instability to come.”
With that she stepped back into the time machine, but was seen to hesitate before choosing a new destination and time.
”The 1950’s UK or 2019 and the Caymans?” a watching stegosaurus reported, “she seemed to be attempting to navigate to both.”