A small but noisy, banner-waving, crowd was protesting outside Parliament, complaining that Brexit wasn’t happening, hard or fast enough. It was mainly old people, but not exclusively, mostly with pink gammon faces, some without noses which they had cut off to spite their faces, some hobbling as they had shot themselves in the foot.
LCD Views reporter Carmen Sense approached two of the protesters to ask them why they were protesting and not in the supermarket stockpiling food and medicines in preparation for the coming hard Brexit.
They gave their names as Harry Kari and Sue Side. Before Carmen Sense could even ask a question they started screaming,
“We voted to leave the corrupt undemocratic unelected EU and we want out now. We don’t care if it costs an arm and a leg, we want to be free from the shackles of the sclerotic European project and have our own cucumbers and bananas. And we want it now!”
When Carmen Sense pointed out that the government’s own assessments for a no-deal Brexit indicated that there would be difficulties, the crowd started shouting.
“Fake News! Scaremongering! Project Fear!”, and said that that nice posh-sounding Mr Mogg had reassured them that everything would be alright, and they were prepared to wait fifty years to see the benefits of Brexit.
They also asserted that they were willing to take jobs as Mogg’s serfs in gratitude for his role in liberating Britain from the tyranny of Brussels.
Carmen Sense suddenly had a nasty thought, which was if there were seventeen million like this in the country, the chances of Remain winning a People’s Vote were as slim as we would all be when food became scarce after Brexit.
The crowd started to disperse. Was it to go home to watch Nigel Farage on TV, Carmen asked. No, Harry and Sue replied, we’re going to stockpile food and medicines, and book a last-minute break in Europe before flights are grounded in March next year. Oh, and we have to move our assets abroad to avoid exposures to the coming economic downturn.
Next day, the headlines in the papers were “What’s the ‘arm in Armageddon?” I guess maybe we’ll find out…