DExEU’s newest packet of mince, Dominic Raab, has announced today that the U.K. delegation will now take a photo of a cake to Brexit negotiations.
”It’s because the EU officials clearly can’t understand English,” Raab told us, “I mean what the hell is wrong with these Eurocrats?
“How do they expect us to give them a comprehensive trade deal with the exact same benefits they enjoy by having us in the EU if they haven’t hired anyone who speaks the world’s most exceptional language?”
The cake itself is yet to be chosen, with the cabinet divided over the best one to photograph.
”Gove thinks we should take a photo of an eclair,” an aide to that terrified robot with fizzing circuits, serving as prime minister, said, “but Javid thinks that is too servile and is pushing to photograph a dominant Victoria sponge. But Hammond is determined it’s a lamington, for reasons of economy, but…”
It’s thought Theresa May will call another Chequer’s away day to sort out which cake is photographed. But she has to wait for her cabinet to stop using their burgundy passports and get back from EU holiday spots first.
”What we do know is the photograph is going to be big enough for even Barnier to get with the picture,” Raab reassured, “I want to put a picture of a ticking time bomb with the cake,
“Just so they know their time is running out if they want to avoid getting splattered by the economic explosion that will be No Cake Brexit. Whatever happens, it’s their fault. And wait till you see the looks on their faces if they’re forced to wipe the cream of British industries off their lips. Total embarrassment. And totally avoidable if they will just let us keep our cake and eat it.”