Talks on the UK`s departure from the European Union have collapsed following the announcement of the untimely death of top British comedian and international trade deal expert, Barry Chuckle.
An ashen face prime minister Theresa May confirmed the news to reporters outside 10 Downing street.
“We’ve not just lost the greatest comedian and entertainer since Max Bygraves but also my chief adviser on international trade and one of the few steady hands in the cabinet,” she said.
“His grasp of complex legal detail left Gove, Davis, Johnson and Raab in the shade… Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear….” she added sobbing that she had spent the morning trying to contact Michael Macintyre but he had been unavoidably detained at his pedicurist.
“He’s one of the few people qualified to take over from Barry and who we can trust to not put a well manicured foot wrong,” she explained.
Known primarily as an arse crackingly unfunny children’s entertainer, Chuckle was catapulted onto the international diplomatic stage following a successful change.org petition to have him and his brother Paul lead the UK’s Brexit negotiation team on the basis that they couldn’t possibly be any worse than the politicians then responsible.
Commenting on Chuckle’s passing and the collapse of talks the EU’s chief negotiator Michel Barnier, confirmed that Barry had been a worthy and formidable opponent and would be sadly missed.
“His interjection of “Silly you”, when I pointed out the need to negotiate regulatory alignment in order to implement his backstop proposal for the Irish border, had me reeling on the ropes – he said, adding that he felt that at heart the later lamented jokester was a true European.
“For me his constant refrain of ‘From me, to you, from me to you…’ exemplified the true spirit of the European Union,” he explained adding that he had nothing against Michael Macintyre taking on the role of the UK’s chief negotiator.
“Of course we would welcome Michael to the table if that is what Mrs May wants,” he said.
“At least, if nothing else, when it all inevitably goes tits up, we won’t have any trouble getting to sleep….” he laughed.