This explanation came during an interview on BBC Radio 4’s Propaganda Today programme. John Humphrys interviewed a junior transport minister.
“What does the government say about the potential 13 mile tailbacks on the M20?” asked Humphrys. “We speak to junior transport minister, Chelsea Tractor. Good morning!”
“Good morning, Sir John!” simpered Tractor. “I’m so excited, everyone else has gone on holiday and left little me in charge!”
“Sir John? I don’t think so!” he replied.
“Just wait for the New Years’ Honours list to come out,” cooed Tractor. “You might just have a little surprise!”
You could almost feel her fluttering her eyelashes.
“Err, well, yes, I suppose it’s possible,” stammered Humphrys, caught momentarily off guard. “But we are here to talk about transport policy!”
“Oooh, I do love it when you’re forceful!” she twittered. “Go on, do the hard stare with the little twinkle!”
There was a slight pause, then they both burst into fits of giggles.
“OK,” he sighed, recovering his poise. “Now tell me why you think 13 mile tailbacks on the M20 are such a good thing.”
“It’s quite simple, John darling,” purred Tractor. “The British love queueing, and the tailback on the M20 will be a queue to die for!”
“But what about the drivers stuck in their cabs?” he asked.
“They will love it!” she whispered. “They work so hard, a bit of rest will be their reward. They can relax, talk on those CB radio thingies like in the movies, and have a bit of a nap.”
“And it they lose their place in the queue as a result?”
“Snooze you lose.”
“And are you not concerned,” he persisted, “about the noise, the pollution, the waste? This is the Garden of England! Surely this is a disgrace in the twenty-first century?”
“Hush, John, hush,” she said soothingly. “Just remember – the people had a vote. The people had a vote.”
“Yes. The people had a vote,” he repeated, calming down. “The people had a vote. All is well. Chelsea Tractor, thank you.”
The people had a vote. Nothing to see here. The people had a vote.