Downing Street made the announcement today. Unable to decide the status of EU citizens residing in the UK, or UK citizens residing in the EU, the government has instead simply decided to abolish citizenship completely.
“It’s too complicated an issue for my pretty little head,” tweeted media whore and neocon apologist Chloe Westley. “If you need to be an expert to understand it, then it can’t be very democratic.”
Westley is well known for her provocative tweets and frequent television appearances. Being young, unelected and Australian, she fits the profile of a loyal, democratic Brit perfectly.
Westley works for the Tax Payers’ Alliance, one of about a dozen so-called “think tanks” based coincidentally in the same property. Equally coincidental is the fact that these “think tanks” all promote a hard-right agenda. Chloe’s job is to draw the rage of the sensible, intelligent enemies of the state, who think that Brexit is a humungous pile of poo.
These “think tanks” have a disproportionate effect upon government policy. They are transparently funded by dark money to achieve shadowy ends. Ignore them and they squeam and squeam and squeam until the government is sick of them and adapts its policy accordingly. Chloe is like a squeamish Brexiter’s wet dream.
Subverting democracy is simple, which therefore makes it democratic.
Ditto abolishing British citizenship.
“I’m surprised this hasn’t occurred to us sooner, to be honest,” said Downing Street rent-a-gobshite Tom Foolery. “The idea is such a simple one. All men are equal! It’s democratic because it treats everyone, regardless of their origin or home, in the same way.”
The European Commission defines active citizenship as ‘Participation in civil society, community and/or political life’. “Which is why we have to get rid of it!” claims Foolery. “It comes from Europe. EU bad, UK good.”
And the 66m stateless ex-citizens? “Democracy was decided, once and for all, at the referendum,” repled Foolery. “Democracy is a return to feudal values and Merrie England. Democracy is a matter of simple obedience. Democracy is working all the hours God sends to put food on your overlord’s table. You had a vote, now shut up and accept the consequences!”
It’s that simple. Democracy is what we tell you it is.