The French were left shaking today after DExEU took the fight to the EU bully boys across THE ENGLISH CHANNEL with the launch of a forthright billboard campaign.
”We’re raising our battle standard in Paris first,” Dominic Raab, puzzled school boy and total twat, told LCD Views, “although I guess we should have started off in Poland LIKE THE GERMANS ALWAYS DO.”
The innovative billboard campaign is written entirely in Brexit standard English.
”This will make it clear the exceptionalism encapsulated in GLOBAL BRITAIN,” Raab explained, while holding a kitten in a bucket of water, “its also a testament to the tyreless efforts of Steve Baker (somehow also an MP) while he was Davis’ handler at DExEU. He had to leave to put distance between himself and Brexit. He’s that humble. Oh, and he’s got a full diary of meetings with neocon sociopaths for the foreseeable future.”
But remoaning critics of the seamless and imaginative campaign have been quick to slam it for clear and obvious grammatical errors.
”Its so the French can understand what were saying LOUD AND CLEAR,” Raab defended the billboards, before adding, “any unintentional errors are the fault of remainers anyway, because they haven’t gotten behind Brexit and made a success of it.”
Asked why the billboards weren’t written in French Raab explained it was because DExEU hadn’t hired any French speakers because everyone speaks English anyway.
”It’ll show them what they stand to lose if they don’t break and bend their rules to suit us. They won’t be allowed to speak English if they don’t step up and do the work required to give us the cake we are only reasonably and fairly requesting.”
Other billboards are planned for Germany with the messages,
”YOU LOST! GET OVER IT!”
and,
”WE WONT OUT ITS THAT SIMPLE STUPID!”
Asked to respond to the shock and awe campaign, Michel Barnier just shrugged and said, “I believe the billboards speak for themselves.”
Before smirking and adding, “Billboard means billboard.”
The campaign will run until the bloody French get the message that Global Britain means business.