Theresa May made an unexpected intervention into the ‘Today’ programme on BBC radio 4 this morning when she phoned up to interrupt the Justine Greening interview.
”Considering May’s job title we had to put her through and make the conflab a three way,” a radio producer told LCD Views, “it made for some variety anyway. Listening to Justine attempt to discover intelligent life on the dark moon Humphrys is a bit of a yawn.”
Once forcibly inserted into the live broadcast, Theresa May set about setting the record straight, as it pertains to her personal feelings on the last week of government.
”John you do backing vocals now while Justine and I talk,” Ms May ordered.
John Humphrys duly settled in to hum the “will of the people” as a fitting backdrop to the continuing discussion.
”Justine you were one of the first to resign from our government,” May stated, “did I look boovered?”
Ms Greening duly confirmed that “you looked like the same constipated, terror struck loser you always look like.”
This led to a lengthy pause, as it was disrespectful not only to the office of prime minister, but the individual.
”Hum hostile environment John,” Ms Greening said next, just in case anyone was thinking of pitying Ms May and/or taking her side.
”I’ll have your job,” Ms Greening followed up in what felt like a one two.
”And did I look boovered when Damien Green resigned? Or Priti Patel?”
Ms May carried on, listing the resignations, keeping firmly in her predetermined mental construct, unaffected by external stimulus.
”I am not boovered by the daily ministerial resignations as I want to govern alone,” the prime minister finished, although the others had already left the room, “all by myself. Just how I like it. Who’s the boss now? Let’s sign something mean into law.”