The latest edict to come from the Downing Street bunker has a familiar theme. The three wise Brexiteers are refusing to see, hear or say anything negative about Brexit.
See No Evil, also known as Jeremy C. Hunt, has been all over the media recently. Presented with the forecasts from business leaders, fearing an economic downturn, Hunt refused to see the point. “These ‘siren voices’ need to stop luring us onto the rocks,” he said. “Pay no attention to sirens. When air raid sirens sounded during the Blitz, did the plucky Brits rush like cowards into bunkers and the London Underground? Of course not! They stood defiantly in the streets and deflected the bombs by sheer force of the British Dunkirk Spirit!”
Hunt was also embarrassed, as yet another broadcaster mistook his middle initial for the first letter of his surname. “It’s Jeremy C. Hunt, not Jeremy C… well, you get the picture,” he moaned.
The mantle of Hear No Evil is worn by Jacob Rees-Mogg. Nothing negative about Brexit manages to permeate his eardrums. His frequent presence on the radio enables him to exercise this talent. Contradictions flow from the man like water from a tap. “Lowering taxes will help the economy grow!” he waffled recently. “This means everyone earns more, well everyone who matters anyway, so this means a higher tax take which means the NHS is safe in our hands! No, raising taxes is not an easier way to achieve this, it’s just plain wrong!”
His company’s recent relocation to Ireland – to the EU, in other words – suggests that Mr Rees-Mogg ain’t as deaf as he makes out.
Boris “I can’t believe he’s not been sacked yet!” Johnson completes the triumvirate. He will Speak No Evil about Brexit, but plenty of evil about everything else. He once promised to lie down in front of the bulldozers, like a slightly less credible Arthur Dent, to prevent Heathrow’s third runway being built. However, Boris managed to be in Afghanistan to avoid voting. The bullshitting bully dodged the bulldozer bullet in Kabul.
Mr Johnson’s unequivocal comment was “F*ck Heathrow!”
There remains a long-standing vacancy for the fourth wise Brexiteer, Do No Evil.