United International Pictures today announced the commencement of production on a brand new Carry On film, “Carry On Brexiteering”.
The film is to be produced by Jeremy Thomas, nephew of the late Gerald Thomas who directed all the original Carry On films, and is set in the corridors of power.
Mr Thomas made the following announcement in a press conference:
“Everybody knows the Carry On films, and I’ve just been itching to make one myself, to continue my uncle’s legacy, but I’ve just been waiting for the right farcical situation to come along. And then Brexit happened, which is more farcical than anything in the original Carry On films could ever dream of being, so I decided now was the time.”
The film is to feature Theresa May as Hattie Jacques, aka Matron, and Jacob Rees-Mogg as Kenneth Williams, who uttered the most quoted lines in the films, including “infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me!” and of course, “Ooh, Matron!”
The cast also includes Boris Johnson in the lecherous Sid James role, chasing after every bit of skirt he can find, while the strict, officious Charles Hawtrey is to be played by Nigel Farage.
A romantic sub-plot involving Jim Dale and Barbara Windsor is to be given to Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott, while the Joan Sims “battleaxe” character is to be played by Arlene Foster.
Finally, the “lusty and bombastic foreigner” role that was played by Bernard Bresslaw is to be handled here by Donald Trump.
Mr Thomas had this to say on the casting:
“I think everyone is just right for the parts they’re playing here. It’s one of those occasions when the script just writes itself to show off the cast’s abilities.”
Carry On Brexiteering is slated for release in March of next year. Asked to speculate on how well the film will do, Mr Thomas said:
“The thing about the Carry Ons is they’re like Marmite. You either love them or hate them. Which actually does fit in well with Brexit when you think about it, so I think we’ve got a good chance.”
If people can still afford to go to the cinema when it premieres, then yes, I think they will have a very good chance indeed.