LCD Views can report from a state of near rapture today that the mysterious Brexit dividend has been identified as finding out just how many useful, and useless, idiots were elected to Parliament on June 8th 2017.
”Three hundred and nineteen at last count,” an aide to soon to be ousted speaker, John Bercow told us, “they just had another of those vote things. You know, when MPs pretend they still matter, but really they’re just there for appearance sake.”
Apparently the number isn’t static though and changes day by day.
”It depends on which way Labour think the wind is blowing any given day,” the aide continued, “that banner held up by the kids freaked Jezz out a little, so they decided to come out strong today, bargaining the so called Tory rebels would fold like deckchairs again. It was a good gamble. Not exactly a long shot, but it paid off if you look at their activists on Twitter.”
But why do the Tories keep folding like deck chairs on the Titanic?
”All mouth and no trousers,” the aide said, “they want to get down on record they were paying close attention as their government crashed the country hard into the wall of reality. About as close attention as they were paying when the hostile environment policies were passed under their noses.”
We’ve heard too the Tory whips have a phrase that is as powerful as kryptonite against most Tory MPs playing superman?
”Yes. Jeremy Corbyn will be prime minister. Scares their pants brown.”
So what’s to happen to parliament now the MPs have voted to make themselves almost pointless? Based on the assumption the government will replace Bercow with a pliant ERG Borg psycho as whip before year end?
“The public is set to save millions. It’s a real Brexit dividend. Westminster MPs are to be replaced by curtains, as they’re only window dressing now anyway.”