Fantastic news today for lovers of living history with the announcement that famous Hollywood movie director Christopher Nolan has agreed to film the documentary sequel to Dunkirk in the winter of 2019, as it actually happens.
“In the sequel, currently being planned by a joint task force of both the governing Conservative party and the um, official, um, ah, opposition at Westminster, thousands of small British boats will race to France in the hope of returning to Britain with much needed food,” casting director, Mrs R Eal told us this morning.
“The movie ‘Dunkirk’ cost about $100M to make, the real life sequel is expected to run into many, many billions of pounds, but it will be listed in USD when it happens as the pound and the dollar will be at parity by then and the UK only days away from agreeing to be a subservient state of the United States under Supreme Commander Trump.”
It’s uncertain if British actor Tom Hardy will be involved in the real life effort to get around the delays at British ports once Doomsday Brexit occurs, with sources saying he’s more interested in preparing for the land based Mad Max sequel to be filmed on the Irish Border.
“We’ll try and get him back up into a Spitfire for the action in 2019 though,” Nolan commented, via an assistant, “if we’re determined to recreate the famous scenes from decades ago, in a desperate attempt to prevent rioting and revolution at home, we’re going to need to put something in the sky to keep the UKIP voters happy, as they have tried to appropriate any iconic symbol of the fight to defeat fascism and reboot it as a symbol for fascism.”
Worries about dangers to the small craft from commercial shipping in the Channel when the boats race to get food, as supermarkets shelves empty, are overstated though.
“There won’t be any commercial shipping crossing then because of the abrupt destruction of commercial freight,” the assistant added, “but we would advise anyone attempting the crossing the watch out for a giant Russian aircraft carrier which is expected to show up at the mouth of the Thames so Supreme Commander Trump can wave at us from the deck to celebrate the success of his master’s pet project. Mission accomplished.”