LCD Views can report today after exhaustive study of all BBC news Twitter platforms that the corporation’s pro Brexit propaganda has been blamed on taking Imodium, day after day since June 23rd 2016.
”They really need to stop taking it and let all the crap flush out,” our broadcasting bias expert said, after studying the timelines, “you can see all these jokey comments on the actual day of the EURef. Various BBC presenters tweeting about how nervous they were about the all night coverage.”
It seemed the major concern was what to do if the result was inconclusive.
”They’d be forced to come up with some sort of coherent narrative at that stage, which didn’t worry the old BBC, but this one? It gives today’s BBC and it’s Tory placements in the hierarchy jammed in one by one by Dave “the wonder” Cameron the squirts. What to do if soundbites from ConHQ won’t pass off as news? Crikey!”
But it seems a well known public figure, Nigel Farage, also a heavy twitter taker, noticed the anxieties and the rumblings of loose bowels, the concerns about getting through the night, and decided to help.
”He was an angel to them,” our expert concludes, “not only has he generated most of the BBC’s unoriginal content for nearly a decade, totally cost free by and large, but in the moment of crisis he turns up with a lorry of Imodium he’d just happened to pick up while passing through Moscow.”
But it seems while solving the immediate concern of sitting behind a desk looking confused, it has had some unintended consequences?
”Yes. There’s concerns now it’s not the genuine thing and a knock off with certain habit forming ingredients in it.
There’s even reports of Today programme editors just grinding it up and snorting it before the show. And for those who are perpetually high on it it’s led to a real back up of crap that now comes out of their mouths. Very alarming stuff. The addict doesn’t even know it’s happening.”
So this explains why John Humphrys and Nick Robinson, and Radio 4 news broadcasters generally are so obviously pushing a line these days?
”Oh no, most of them are so fat from six figure salaries for years, such good pals with certain politicians, they’re just comfortably biased these days and naturally full of shit.”