The new kid on the block of British politics, Don’t Know, is expected to announce shortly they are to form a new centre left political party and challenge both of the old, dog tired, useless in the face of hard right racketeering parties.
We spoke to Don’t Know in an exclusive interview to find out more about their plans and vision for the U.K.
”You weren’t followed, were you?” Don’t Know asked, without even saying hello.
”We’re in my office,” our reporter replied, “and I haven’t left the house in a week due to a Netflix binge, so I doubt it. What about you?”
Don’t Know nodded and accepted the offered seat.
”I’m followed all over,” they said, “sometimes it feels like nearly half the country is right behind me. Other days less.”
Is this why you’re forming your own political party and challenging the two old parties who both claim to be up to the job of protecting Britain from foreign interference in our democratic process, while simultaneously promoting one of the pet projects of malicious external actors?
”That, and the fact I’m bloody popular. I’ve been outpolling that old shovel Corbs for months even once you allow for polling errors and I’m breathing down the Maybot’s neck. Which isn’t hard to do of course. Or shouldn’t be. What the hell is Corbyn up to? The long game?”
Don’t Know pauses to shake their head, before going on,
“Now is the time to push forward and capture the mass of swing voters who are looking for an honest broker.”
You’re not worried power will corrupt?
”Yes of course I am. And I’m bloody keen to test my character from the big chair at 10 Downing Street.”
I don’t suppose you could do worse than the AI system already there.
”Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure. Conditions are ripening in the U.K. for a new populist with charisma to sweep the board, as people realise the old hands aren’t up to the job. I may not be as nice as you hope.”
You’re not really selling yourself to me.
”You wait until I’m polling over 50% and ride down Pall Mall on an actual unicorn. Indecision will vanish in a flash. And besides I might just be the shot in the ass both main parties are looking for to decide to back a leader who can beat Don’t Know hands down.”
Rather than leaders who frame the national debacle currently going on and are making things worse week by week?
”I was going to end with I don’t know about you, but now you’ve spoiled it.”
I don’t know how?
”I do. I’m a more important indicator of what’s happening in our politics than most people think.”