Britain’s greatest prime minister since Charles II has entered the fray today concerning the gammon scandal.
”I just love all pork products,” David Cameron, inheritance millionaire famous for intimacy with a pig’s head to win the approval, allegedly, of Boris Johnson and other posh boy visionaries told us.
Our interview took place in his infamous shepherd’s hut shed. A folly he kindly let the world know cost the average household income and shouted about in a big colour supplement shed even as the flames of his great referendum mishap were catching on the UK’s curtains and promising to empoveish people earning the average household income.
What a boy.
So much power and so little sense of accountability.
That little sense of accountability goes for hi viz fetishist George “wonder” Osborne too. Dave’s ball boy.
Baron of ideological austerity. He also sowed the seeds and micturated on the seedlings of Brexit.
But at least Tezza’s humiliated him by firing him and reminding him of the humiliation he felt in earlier years at the hands of the Tory grandees when he was bossed like a soggy biscuit into the bin of the leadership race Michael Howard won.
And now he’s out for payback. So we appreciate that. Keeping going Boy Wonder. We all know you want to be PM still, flinging your rocks out from your London newspaper fortress.
”I thought this article was about how much I love f*cking dead pigs in the face and not a near stream of consciousness about my former colleague?” David interjected.
Sorry Britain’s greatest PM since Chamberlain, do go on.
”You see all those racist, gammon men and women, let’s not discriminate, voting for the fascist, clueless UKIP start up just terrified me. So I thought I’ll give in and maybe they’ll let me live.”
How did they work out?
”I have no regrets. I’m eyesplittingly wealthy and have moved to Spain.”
Thanks for your help Dave.
”My pleasure. Love the gammon. A total vote winner until you get pork scratchings in the eyes. How’s the U.K. doing since the greatest prime minister since Edward II left?”