A man who set his house on fire while having a right on party with his friends is so upset now that his house is burning he is to spend his time now blaming other people he tricked and forced to attend his party, people who said we don’t want to be at your party, please don’t set your house on fire.
“He should not,” one of his friends advises, “call any firefighters to help, because if the house burns long enough, ten years or more, everyone will see he was right to burn it to the ground. It will burn the rights of tens of millions of people with it and a few of us will get richer. It will be worth it. Then he can just build a new house using money tricked out of the poorest.”
But the man himself looks a little uncertain as the fluffs of ash begin falling on his expensive suit.
“I actually expected the firefighters to help me set the house on fire at first,” the man told us, “they all just stood around at the start going ‘mate, don’t do it, don’t pour that petrol on your house and flick a match on it, it’s not going to end well, it’ll burn more than the massive catalogue of rights for non-wealthy citizens that you expect to turn to ash’. Bloody remoaning firefighters, what use are they? Why don’t they get behind me now and help make a success of the fire? This makes it their fault. By the way, I am a narcissistic buffoon who is psychologically incapable of self examination and learning.”
The man made these comments as the thatch on his house, named Little England, caught fire and a spiralling funnel of black and grey smoke drifted up into the clear sky, blocking out the sun.
“You can see France from my house when it isn’t cloudy,” the man commented, “not that anyone wants to see France. Why would you want to see France? Why would anyone young enough want to take advantage of a month of free rail travel to understand that people are just people regardless of whatever borders people impose to separate and divide and…sorry. I need to reset my robot brain. Right. What have they got over there but the cheese they just have to sell to us or their economy will collapse?”
We asked what he intended to do about the growing blaze now he’d finished ranting about France?
“Watch it burn I guess and blame everyone trying to throw buckets of water on it,” he shrugged, “it’s not my fault. Nobody told me fire was flammable. How could I have known? Is ignorance a defence? If it is I’m very well armoured.”