The mighty British government was in a celebra-tory mood today after strong and stable local election results yesterday.
“We thought we were toast chum, I don’t mind telling you,” B Astard (MP for Always) told us over lunch, “but the immigration scandals really gave us the boost we needed late to get the kippers back onside. What a relief. UKIP has returned to the host and mostly brought its votes with it. It provides certainty for the international community too. Yes. We are what you think we are now, apparently. Well, not all of us, but enough to keep the toxic environment chugging along until, well, I’m not quite sure when, this is day by day stuff.”
And it certainly seems where the Conservatives were expected to get trounced by the unstoppable momentum of the Labour train, at least as far as the group think of Momentum was concerned, the Cons came away largely unscathed.
“I have to say too,” B Astard continued, sipping his prosecco, “I really prefer champagne. This stuff is a bit rum.”
There’s no rum in it. It’s straight sparkling fizz.
“Well, if you say so, you’re picking up the tab. I’ve already filed expenses for a new radiator bed for my pet tiger this month and I don’t want the bean counters after me again.”
How about we get back to the election result? Would you like to share some of my duck pate?
“Scrummy. Don’t mind if I do. It’s a gift and it keeps giving. Strong and stable taste to it. What what?! Here we were thinking we were slowly sinking into the political quicksand with the flipping Maybot at the helm, but it seems Labour is giving us a leg up by fighting for the same votes and ignoring the ones we can’t touch.”
Do you think Labour will learn anything from the big swing to Liberal Democrats and the Greens?
“Not if they listen to the BBC and its ferociously efficient clarity destroying overpaid correspondents discussing politics and this result they won’t! Ha!”