Hot on the heels of Corbyn’s slow response to the Royal Baby, the Daily Express has laid into him again. He is now guilty of not condemning foreigners for what they’ve decided is irresponsible breeding.
As Britain gears up to feed another baby born of European stock, a row is brewing. The basis of it is that Corbyn hasn’t done enough to root out Labour members who might have foreign ancestors.
As leader of the so-called opposition, Corbyn is required to take up two contradictory positions at any given time. This is necessary training to become Prime Minister. The PM herself must believe up to six impossible things before breakfast.
Protocol dictates that congratulations, however insincere, must be forthcoming. Imagine the furore had Corbyn commented before Theresa May’s programmers had finished choosing the most appropriate cliché.
The Royal Sprog’s parents, Will and Kate Oxbridge, are believed to be doing well, since there are plenty of people in the Royal household running round after them. The message from Buckingham Palace read “Nanny and baby are doing well.”
There has been much speculation about the baby’s name. Some wags have suggested he be named Jeremy. Ladbrokes are offering odds of 10-1 for Dwayne, 50-1 on George II, and 5000-1 on Baby McBabyface.
The Duke of Edinburgh has been getting involved with typical German efficiency. “I do hope they don’t call it something stupid like Eugenie,” he reportedly said. “And I’m not a bloody German, I’m Greek!”
The Duke also disclosed that the baby had inherited his fathers hair, before being dragged off by George and Charlotte to play at being fuzzy-wuzzies again.
We tried to interview the Little Prince himself. He opened an eye, removed the nipple from his mouth, and said “I’m a newborn baby, I can’t talk yet. Now bugger orff, I’m feeding!”
Labour activists belatedly slammed the Express for failing to produce a 19 page Royal Baby supplement. The Express has retaliated by producing a 19 page supplement of pictures of Jeremy Corbyn holding babies, presumed to be foreign.