LCD Views can report on a helpful leg up for Doctor Liam Fox in his global trade mission today as the Home Office has begun deporting Commonwealth born citizens as brand advocates for Global Britain Empire 2.0.
“It’s really put the wind under my wings and given me a rush to have a joint initiative with my colleagues at the Home Office,” Dr Fox told us, “to think in just a few years we’ll likely be peers today as well, once we fly off to our well earned rest as Conservative Lords.”
Under the new strategy anyone who came to the United Kingdom as a minor and who hasn’t kept the ticket stub to prove they did it by boat or plane, and not illegally by levitation, is to be rounded up and forced back to the countries of their birth.
The scheme is expected to be rolled out after this test phase to other groups who also legally arrived, often by invitation from a country eager for fit, young people, but who now doesn’t like anyone not born in a shire so much, and wants the world to know it.
“I have suggested we get Nigel Farage to redo his famous breaking point poster, only this time with other groups,” Doctor Fox said, “just to make sure the world really gets what Britain and Brexit means.”
And Doctor Fox has other ideas they don’t involve curtains too.
”I was expecting I’d probably only achieve a Guinness Book of World Records entry for most business class air miles earned at public expense while achieving sod all,” Doctor Fox mused, “but with HMG competing with President Trump across the pond to make racism a guiding light in immigration policy, well, I’m going to have a lot of free publicity for Global Britain’s brand in so many Commonwealth countries I want to do a free trade deal with after Brexit.”
LCD Views thinks Doctor Fox is indeed lucky, to have some many chums to give him a leg up the ladder, in spite of his ability.
”That goes for the entire cabinet currently, pretty much,” he adds, “it explains all these wonderful policies. Competence. What is it and how do you avoid it?”
Although we perceive some risk of the kick out anyone a kipper hates policy backfiring, given a few of the targeted individuals may at some point negotiate the telephone books of paperwork, and stump up the fees needed to process documents resulting from rule changes decades after people settled in the UK and were allowed to do so.
“It’s a good warm up,” Doctor Fox finished, “for when we start screwing around EU27 citizens even harder while shouting at the EU to give us cake. Bargain chips. That’s what we see when we see people.”
Best of luck Global Britain, you’ll need it.