A man has been left stunned after a time traveller appeared late last night in his study and gave him a book from the future.
“Keir is to spend the day with friends recovering,” Mr A Friend told LCD Views, “he wasn’t overly shocked by the appearance of the space suited visitor from the year 2065, but he was rocked by the contents of the book the time traveller gave him.”
It seems the book, ‘Footnotes in 21st Century British Political History’, was intended as a gift.
“It’s uncertain what the motivation of the time traveller was,” Mr Friend said, “Keir is a little worried that behind the warm smile, the handshakes and the stories about how your house will flush the toilet for you in 2065, there was also a cautionary message.”
The suspicion appears to have been roused by Keir discovering he is written about in the book.
“When the time traveler said, wink, wink, you’re in the book mate, Keir was thrilled and he eagerly opened the tome anticipating a fat chapter on his service as British prime minister from 2022 to 2033, but it wasn’t there! He was shocked.”
Well, what was there?
“Just a paragraph. A few lines about being part of the official opposition that enabled the hard right Torykip destruction of democracy in the United Kingdom in the service of far right tax dodgers, which triggered the actual dissolution of the country itself.”
But that’s not fair, Brexit is a Tory project.
“It is certainly that,” Mr Friend nodded, “but according to ‘Footnotes of 21st Century British Political History’, Jeremy Corbyn three line whipping his MPs to ensure Article 50 was triggered is viewed from the future as a dereliction of duty almost as bad as David Cameron running as fast as he could the moment he realised he’d broken everything.”
Almost?
“Almost,” Mr A Friend nodded, “it seems Keir allowed himself to be carried downstream in the flow of Brexit. The people in the future believe he should have turned around and fought the poo logs flowing to the waterfall cliff edge. You know, stuck by his principles and beliefs like an elected representative is supposed to do.”
That’s a shame. He probably hoped for a more sympathetic place in history.
“People choose their destinies.”
So where does the time traveller live now if the United Kingdom has dissolved? The Republic of Scotland? Ireland or Wales? England?
“No. England is a distant memory spoken about in fables now. The time traveller said he was from the Kingdom of Kent.”