The revised edition of the David Davis MP actionman doll now comes with a handy “caution : splinters” warning inside the packet.
”It’s to limit the risk of litigation should any potatriots actually attempt to play with David Davis,” Toy Designer R Murdoch told LCD Views.
An earlier release of the award winning actionman toy had to be withdrawn from sale after overstretched a&e departments in strong Leave voting areas became stuffed to the gills with middle aged men sucking their thumbs.
”The two short planks the dolls are manufactured from do splinter easily,” R Murdoch admitted, “although that makes them exceptionlly lifelike.”
The dolls, which come with little potatriotic flags and a keg of beer for Davis to drink, at least have an eye catching recommended retail price.
”An R.R.P. of £350M per week is a recognisable sum that people easily part with,” Murdoch continues, “sofa change for most. We wanted to ensure the Davis toys saturated the market so grown ups eager for independence have something to play with while they wait to get their sovereignty back.”
An alternative design of a house brick was dismissed due to the weight and cost of transport.
”Any shipment of David Davis MP actionman dolls stuck at a border crossing in Northern Ireland would just have chewed through too much petrol as they waited, motor running hard, to clear customs. Even as a preferred or preferential, or whatever lingo we may choose, trader,” Murdoch adds, “plus the added risk of petrol being siphoned out of the waiting trucks for post Brexit cocktails.”
Critics have seized on the dismissal of the brick design though saying “at least then we would have had something to build with.”