Housing minister Dominic Raving was soaking up the plaudits today after pointing out that “Brexit will seamlessly solve the UK’s chronic housing crisis by leading to a boom in youth and job exports to the countries of the EU27”.
“Imagine being that newly retired couple, or widow, widower, or someone on our second, third or fourth marriage, or even a confirmed singleton who doesn’t want to get to grips with Tinder,” Mr Raving went on, “waiting for your only child to come home from Frankfurt, Brussels, Dublin, Paris, Berlin or even Prague, for Christmas and then receiving a text message, after you’ve been waiting to collect them from a regional airport, telling you they’re staying abroad for an orphans’ Christmas with other ex-pats this year?”
The minister went on to explain that this exciting possibility is multiplied by the many millions by Brexit.
”Once your government, with the support of our Lexit colleagues, succeeds in crashing the United Kingdom out of the EU, without a transition actually being agreed due to Ms Foster’s likely insistence on a hard border, then just think of the exciting future for young British graduates following their dream of moving across the English Channel, chasing the job that would otherwise have been closer to home.”
Yes minister, we can visualise it.
”It’s going to make my job much easier,” Dominic continued, “you don’t have to build houses if the young are jumping ship in order to have a bright future.
Anyone who remembers the “£10 poms” of the last great period of British economic hardship can explain the mixture of anxiety and excitement involved in deciding you’d be better off starting out somewhere new.”
And there was another side benefit that Mr Raving believes deserves more attention.
”Fed up with waiting for your children to bring the grandchildren back to Brexitiannia for a visit, you can get on a boat and go and see them,” he added, “as any of the countries they’ve gone to are likely to still have a well funded health service, you can take it for granted you’ll actually get treatment if you fall ill while abroad, albeit with the likely complication of no longer being part of EU wide reciprocal health programmes.”
I feel old just thinking about it. I can’t wait. Brexit will solve the housing crisis by alleviating the need for housing.
”Over time.”
Yes. Over time. Something worth waiting for is often worth waiting for.
”Like a British GP appointment, even before Brexit.”
Quite.