God created the Garden of EU for the man and the woman to live in. He took a day off, as he was tired after six days of ceaseless creation. Unfortunately, free Will of the People was one of the gifts that He had given to mankind.
The Garden was fruitful, and the man and the woman were happy, and had plenty of all that they needed. They prospered and grew strong, and there was no need to cover up.
God placed but one condition on them. “You may eat of any of the plants in the Garden,” He decreed. “But you are forbidden to eat the fruit of the Brexit tree, for whomever eats of that tree will surely die.”
Now the serpent was the craftiest of God’s creatures. He persuaded the woman to eat the fruit of the Brexit tree. “For you will not die,” he hissed. “You will see the light, and know the truth which God has concealed from you!”
So the woman ate, and discovered that God’s plans were laid bare, as naked as she was. She became convinced that the Garden was too good to be true, and that the grass was greener outside.
“Cheers for the tip, Nige!” said the woman, Theresa. “Hey, Jeremy, try this, it’s lovely!” So the man ate too. The scales fell from his eyes, and he too felt as if he has been lulled into a false sense of security. So they created dull garments and set off for the Garden gate.
“Why are you leaving my Garden?” asked God. “Why have you covered your motives? Did you eat the Brexit fruit? Did I not forbid you to eat of the Brexit tree?”
“It was the serpent’s fault!” wailed the woman. “He deceived me!”
“In return for your disobedience, woman, you will have an insoluble paradox to solve,” thundered God. “And you, man, for your weakness, will Labour for ever in barren soil!”
He turned to the serpent. “You will crawl on your belly,” He declared. “You will forever be an Enemy of the People!”
“Get over it, God, who needs experts?” said the serpent. “We got are country back!”