Greg Clarke Minister for Bungling was leading the big band in a celebration song after the government buckled to PSA’s demands for a big bucket of British taxpayer’s cash yesterday.
“This shows you we cut a fine cut out out when we agreed to give Nissan however much they wanted to stay in the U.K. for a while,” Mr Clarke sang, “and PSA have been smart enough to twist our arm behind our back and demand likewise to keep van production at the Luton plant.”
While some short sighted types might criticise the government for shoving taxpayer’s money into the pockets of multinationals, Mr Clarke is not having that.
”I’m having taxpayer’s cash of course. It’s my job. But securing capitalists against any potential losses that will be incurred because HMG has a dream of a bold, bucaneering, free trading country out on the high seas of international trade, busily shoving fistfuls of money into the pockets of international businesses dependent on CU and SM access to survive, that’s just a traditional conservative approach to business, isn’t it?”
They are the party of business, after all.
”I’m sure Labour won’t criticise the nationalisation of profit loss by capitalists, given it’s in the service of Brexit.”
LCD Views commends the government for its short term thinking and is more than certain there’s enough taxpayer’s money in the U.K. piggy bank to bribe, we mean incentivise, any business that needs bribing, we mean incentivising, to keep operations in the U.K. for a few years longer, while we sort out the few details left to clarify what Brexit means for trade.
”Of course her majesty’s loyal opposition supports throwing money at multinationals so our support of Brexit doesn’t get sticky for us before the long game reaches the final stage,” John McDonnell is expected to say later,
“there’s nothing else those millions could be better spent on. Remember, the people had a vote. Which is why Labour now also supports austerity, because the people had a vote on that too. It’s about our principles.”