English nationalists are fuming’ today and threatening to invade somewhere after the European Union revealed the winning entry of the competition to design the new EU flag for 2020 and beyond.
“We believe the flag and its many Saint George crosses will best symbolise our desire to take over the world,” competition organiser Philip Joshingman told LCD Views, “all the years the english nationalists have been right about us of course. So we are taking their favourite flag first, as part of our tyrannical conquest of the United Kingdom. We believe it’s the best way to honour the contribution they make to world peace and harmony in communities.”
Legislation has already been passed by the European parliament in an entirely undemocratic fashion of voting by MEP’s stating that all buildings, government or civic or private residential ( and takeaway food outlets) in all EU member states must fly the new flag at all times from 2020, in line with the new EU budget release.
“Of course we understand that some Westminster politicians, especially those who support Brexit, may claim that adopting a flag first used in the Kent city of Genoa in the 13th century, maybe seen as a provocation of Downing Street, especially as it will almost certainly be just be United England before long,” Joshingman continued, “but I want to reassure those types that this is nothing of the sort. In fact the highest density of votes for the new flag design originated in Thanet and were all filled out by the same hand.
Also, the inclusion of the tiny old EU flag in the top left is a nice touch, so England can remember the peace project it choose to leave in order to please neocon capitalists.”
But what about beyond 2020? Won’t it be confusing for Brexit England to see European Union buildings flying a flag that only belongs to them and most of the rest of the world?
“Well, they can always adopt a new design,” Joshingman replied, “I would suggest enlarge your unicorns. But it’s no great worry, once the transition period out of the European Union is complete, I suspect everyone in the United Kingdom will be flying an American flag with a Donald Trump in the middle of it holding an antibiotic stuffed chicken by the breast? No?”
LCD Views would like to congratulate the winning designer, a Mr M. Gove, and we look forward to seeing the new European Union flag flying over the door of our favourite dirty chicken shop from 2020, when we duck in for a box of filth, knowing we really shouldn’t.