Breaking news from the world of sports this evening says the smart money is betting on the United Kingdom to lose the tug of war it is currently waging as both U.K. teams are on one side.
LCD Views spoke to Emily Thorn-should-be-in-Tory-neocon-coup-Brexit-side to find out more.
”I go home and scream into my bathroom sink each night,” she told us,
“I’m just packing it over the fear of deselection by Momentum now.
My doctor said he sees the early signs of Stockholm Syndrome afflicting me too, just like poor lost Keir.
But I’m sure blah, blah, blah Momentum with their fanatical insistence on adherence to dogma will look after me if I just do what they say, like all the other MPs who are so removed in life experience from real threats to the United Kingdom that they have no idea what to do in the face of a coup of parliament by tax haven serving thugs.”
It’s not surprising the opposition is so confused, as the tug of war is actually an usual three way contest, and there are more tugs of war happening at once than usual.
”It’s bloody puzzling,” Emily continued, “we’re supposed to just be tugging hard at the governing party, but my own party is run by a bunch of old men now who missed the boat Castro was on and think they can swim out to it now in a Lexit row boat. So they’re actually tugging with Theresa May the puppet and hoping to push her into the mud at the last tug.”
It’s not going to work, is it?
”No. The EU have the 21st Century on its team and they’re going to totally stuff us. But what can you do? Except try and make the best of it?”
You can remember as an elected representative you’re supposed to be protecting the United Kingdom from clear and obvious destruction. You’re supposed to put country before party.
”Oh you thought criminal you. You’re totally for it when my good, good, we never deselect me friends take over from the lying, cheating con artists currently in power.”