Brexit Dad Figel Narage is very upset about the future of fishing in UK waters. Feeling a responsibility to do something, he has taken a one-man stand. Narage is taking his son fishing by the local canal.
Narage’s protest stems from the concession of fisheries policy. The UK has gloriously taken back control by permitting the EU to dictate fisheries policy during the Brexit transition phase.
Narage’s near namesake, Nigel Farage, the face, voice and empty bank account of UKIP, has done his bit by attending as many as one out of 42 fisheries committee meetings.
Clearly, Farage’s valiant efforts have been in vain, so Brexit Dad is taking up his mantle. Armed with only a big stick with a string tied to it, and a butterfly net, Narage and son are Fishing For Britain.
“It’s my way of making a difference,” claimed Narage, from under a dripping umbrella. “The EU cannot impose quotas on British waterways! And there is no way I am chucking any back in, so there.”
Brexit Dad impaled another maggot on his home-made fish-hook and cast off hopefully. A partly-submerged shopping trolley and a solitary duck gazed back.
How much have you caught? we asked Figel junior, sitting sullenly in the drizzle.
He lifted the net. “Nothing,” he moaned. “We’ve been here hours. I’m dripping wet and freezing cold. I want to go home and play GTA 5, but Dad says I’ve got to stay.”
“Isn’t this great?” said Figel senior, ignoring his son. “I think we’re really bonding here. We will go home as soon as we have caught enough fish for tea.”
“I don’t even like fish!” wailed Figel junior.
The gifted British amateur is beating the so-called experts at their own game. We left Figel senior and junior to dissolve in the rain on principle.
Meanwhile, we heard a rumour that Mrs Narage, Krystyna, and her daughter Figella, were stuffing their faces at a friendly, European-owned Italian restaurant. But steering clear of the fish.